Who wants to hang out with a depressed person? Who gets sick of the moaning, the frowning, and the depressing minutia of life? Who gets tired of someone always cancelling on them for minor reasons? Who gets tired of trying to maintain a relationship that they get nothing out of?
When I’m depressed, I never feel like being with people. I drive them away with cancellations, endless bitching, and a bad demeanor. All of these thing come along with my depression. The easiest way to drive people off is to be depressed. It’s not expressly our desire. In fact most of us want to just be loved and accepted, even while depressed.
I can’t imagine what it’s like to hangout with me when I’m depressed. Once I realized that people were tired of my endless complaining, I started to just skip out on all social functions. In addition to not feeling like being with other people, I was aware that I couldn’t stop bitching. It just happened. It’s one of the many things you can’t control while depressed.
If you will believe it, pushing people away makes depression worse. Once the depressed person gets caught in the circle of cancelling engagements and ignoring friends, they feel worse. It is a vicious cycle that can only be broken by getting “less depressed.”
What can you do for a depressed person? Patience and support. You have to be patient with their ramblings and help support them in treatment. We have to start supporting people who have mental illnesses. There is no support structure in the community, so support has to come from friends and family.