Trying to Get That Feeling Again

Song: Tryin’ to Get That Feeling Again.  Music and lyrics by David Pomeranz.  Popularized by Barry Manilow.

While this song is about one lover trying to rekindle the passions of a relationship, it applies to my life right now.  My life stands at an intersection.  I don’t have to choose the way, but I have to figure out how to get back home.  Who am I?  How should I express my emotions?  What are my goals?

I have been depressed for so long that I frankly don’t know how to experience joy.  My life stopped when I got my facial pain condition.  Now five years after surgery and pain free, I still don’t know how to rebuild my life.  I’ve alienated friends, my emotions, and sense of well-being.  I have shut out the people I care about.

My focus now is to rekindle those old feelings.  When I was in Jersey, I felt a certain way.  When I was in Long Island, I felt a certain way.  These feelings came from my experiences, my work, and my actions.  I am sick of wanting to live like I did in the good old days.  That is what I want, but it is hard.

This song talks about reliving emotions that have passed.  There are times, especially in depression, when we want to go back to those times.  They will be different, though, because of life experiences and personal growth.  I don’t know how to do it, but I want to do it.